Tuesday, November 29, 2005

29 Nov 2005

It wasn’t before long that I found myself very sleepy this afternoon. I didn’t have enough sleep these few days. But then I think of something: is that because I have no pressure from the work or is that simply not enough sleep makes me feel so sleepy?

I seem to remember had asked my friends about this one: are you more easily prone to sleepiness when you’re having a lot of work and exhausted, or when you are having unimportant things to be done and feeling useless?

Of me, when I’m really under great pressure of deadlines, I can suppress my sleepiness. This is the experience that I had when I was in university. Well, let’s put it in this way, I had most of my experience from the past three years of university more than all the other years in my life. Diversity really makes you know yourself more. And diversity could be best found in my university. (yeh, MY university only, ho ho ho…).

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These days, I can feel that myself is getting much and much lazier. I just don’t want to work hard. When jobs are given to me, I will finish it as quick as I can. But when those ad hoc jobs are finished, I don’t want to move again. I’m not motivated enough, neither internally nor externally.

I become more selfish too. I just want more for myself and less for the others. I just think of myself first, and not the others, even if those people are precious to me.

I become less willing to change, or to give up things. I just want things the way they are now, unless it’s really very bad. I’m so reluctant to change and so used to comfort.

I’m decaying. In three aspects I am decaying. One is physically, second is mentally, and the third, morally.

What happened?

Friday, November 25, 2005

25 Nov 2005

Back a few months ago, while the summer heat is still high and the sun is still the beautiful mid-summer firewall, there was a nice young boy who goes to swimming almost everyday. He wasn’t really going to swim like fish, though, he’s just enjoying the water, enjoy the freedom of movement (without others’ laughing), enjoy the summer’s heat, enjoy the big bright sunshine, enjoying the tanned and beautiful crowd, enjoying the summer, enjoying the atmosphere. He was in good shape. I mean, eh, he was in a much better shape. And he didn’t care whether he looks good or he looks not good enough.

Then the young man found a job and started working 10-7 each day. Because of the extraordinarily silent and motionless environment in the office that he’s working in, and because his boss is just sitting very NEXT to him, he feels great pressure every time he tries to walk away to do at least some stretching. The first two week of working, to him, is a total torture. Every muscle in his body is yelling and complaining from actively moving everyday to total sedentary, total handicapped on the chair, in front of the monitor, everyday.

But human are surprising creates. They can easily adapt to different environment. After one and a half month, the young man is used to the severely handicapped-style, stick-you-ass-to-the-chair-all-day working style. Slowly, his body is disintegrating from inside. And he can do nothing over it because there are many watchful eyes in the office. He knows he’s decaying, with a visible speed and a tangible touch.

Two month’s over, the young man had decayed so fast to a rate that he can’t even walk too fast. His legs are totally crippled (metaphorically speaking, of course). His arms are so weak that even he’s leaning his head upon his arms, his arms are too tired to support them, shown by shaking and shaking. His waist, however, keeps bulging and bulging. That is the part where the body seats and there is the part where the excess energy is stored. That is also the part where his body moves least, if any.

The young man is very sad. He can do nothing over it while overlooking himself getting worse. He can’t swim under the sun because he never sees it in weekdays. He can’t jog because after dinner it’s too tired already. He can’t move his body because that shows he’s too impatient on his job, which is way too visible for his boss 1m away from him. He’s bored, he’s tired, and he’s dissatisfied. He knows this happens to nearly every job in the world, and that’s what makes him even more dejected.

Before, he can put on pants with 32inch waist…….then he has to wear 33…..then 34……and coming 35….just within 3 months!!!!

Question: how many days can his meat and fat feed another person if he’s being hunted down in a no-man island?

Answer: at least a year…I guess.

Sigh…

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Tell you something…

…it’s only one month from the Christmas~~~~Yeh~~~~~

Countdown to Christmas’s Eve: 28 Days
Countdown to New Year’s Eve: 36 Days

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

15 Nov 2005

Very tired. I'm just too tired to work today.

Last night my mother need someone to help her to input quite a lot of data into her company's system in order to generate some presentations for meeting the deadline today. And that was already early in the morning (I would say it's early in the morning rather than late at night, you know). I just don't want to continue when she keeps on pulling me from sleeping and help her finish with all the input.

During daytime I have my whole day facing the computer doing everything with "data" already. And now when I'm back at home, late at night, my mom would keep on pressing me to do something that I don't want to do. That's not the main point.

She keeps on depriving my sleeping time, and that's the main point out of all!

I could hardly make it to the office today if I'm not having several alarms at a time. I hate the feeling of doing something so monotonous with such sleepiness. I'm ok to deal with sleepiness when things are neeeded to be done, such things happened often during university. But not when I'm doing something that...seemingly can be done at anytime with any pace, I'm prone to inefficiency then. Everyone does, I reckon.

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This two days we are having a management level meeting in our office. Most of the management from the Asian offices are coming to HK to have their meetings. My boss had meeting with them yesterday as well. It was a very quiet day. It's the same situation here today, except that my boss left silent for his business trip again. And again, he didn't tell me anything beforehand.

After the lunch, the managers all come back to the office and start to work. Then the worst thing happened: someone smokes in the office! The smell is SOOO damn offensive that I feel that I can't breathe! There wasn't much fresh air in this office for all of us already. There's really no point in aggravating the situation to suffocate of all us! My god! I have to go outside just for a deep breathe of some not-so-fresh-but-better-than-smoke-polluted air.

I'm feeling very, very sleepy now...anyone know what's the cure for hypoxia? help....

Countdown to Christmas' Eve: 38 Days
Countdown to New Year's Eve: 45 Days

Thursday, November 10, 2005

10 Nov 2005

Flu of the century

I can't remember when did that happened already.

It was a fierce epidemic raging through the territory;
People keep dying, doctors in desperate doubt that solution nor source could be found;
The public is in great panic. Everyone felt their lives threatened when even the authorities and the professionals, whom they seek advice and help during situations, are helpless themselves this time;
The media blackens everything and threats everyone;
People tried to take their "hygenic precaution sense" to unbelievably high level, almost paranoid;
The city is so helpless that the only way to do was simply submerge everything into chlorine solutions, in a proportion of 1:99. Until the plague is gone, they will finally surface.

That was a few years ago already, though I don't remember which year was that exactly. It seems to be when I was Year 1 in CU.

That was 2003, I guess. That was SARS, I'm sure.

Fear and sadness that once sieged the poor little city silently slipped away as time goes on. HK people are always good at forgetting.

2 years later, we're now facing another epidemic that will soon arrive. This time, everyone else on Earth are shaken and alert, but not HK people. Vaccinations and tensions are together injected to the public in the foreign lands. What about us? Yes we had some measures now, as far as we can tell.

But where is the "excessively paranoid hygenic precaution" sense that the public had when they faced SARS? I don't see anyone shocked, shaken, or even moved here. The bird flu, which is imminent and perhaps more deadly than SARS, is striking from different directions now (refer yourself to the news).

Even National Geographic and Discovery Channel are describing this wave of bird flu as "Flu of the Century"...

Geeeeeeeeee...what happened?



Christmas Eve's Countdown: 43 Days
New Year's Eve Coutndown: 50 Days

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

8 Nov 2005

This is definitely the sick week.

First I had the flu. Every time the city has the epidemic flu that rages around the region I must be one of the pioneers for it. Last time I shared the flu that spreads all over Hong Kong with all other patients is around March something. That time the loss is tragic, I can say. I missed my chance of going to Thailand together with my family, not to say the loss of money…though there was insurance claim.

Then I had the gastritis. Well of course I don’t know this English name until I check the doctor’s certificate. It doesn’t hurt me much. But feeling the pain at 4 in the morning is definitely torturing. I just can’t work the next day without sleeping all night.

Now I’m back to work. There’s something about the work that I don’t like now.

So many entries in the database are duplicates. Some are easier to identify, some are just as complicated and sophisticated as the authentic one. You can never distinguish which one is an extra one that should be removed. Sometimes the duplicates can even appear in the Operations System, Invoicing system, or even the accounting system! My goodness. How can the brokers use some poorly-spelled names on invoices? If any legal arguments are to be involved, we are definitely going to be on the disadvantaged side.

Then of course anyone with some sense will try to seek help. So do I. I sent mails to various brokers for various entries to ask for their help. The result? 95% of them do NOT answer my mails. Our intricate system allows us to see who had read your mail. And 100% of them had read my mails already, as I can see from the system. That means, they read the mail and do not reply, even if it’s a personal, internal mail to them.

Christ’s sake…what’s happening? Am I really such a disposable man that doesn’t deserve some attention or respect? I know I’m doing something that seems very meaningless but that’s not so. At least, I believed not so. For just answering me “yes A is the real one B is useless entry” you can help the poor little kid struggling with the database everyday.

Why are you guys just so apathetic? Please.



Christmas' Eve Countdown: 45 Days
New Year's Eve Countdown: 52 Days

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

1 Nov 2005

I guess if I wasn't having the "aftermath" of a serious flu, I must had been out to LKF to join the Halloween party last night. You know, these things are just so important to me. I mean festivals. Usually I will enjoy them and I expect them. I like people and crowds. I like atmosphere. I like yelling and cheering and laughing among the crowds. Of course I also like having a drink and a deep chat with my friends in a decent cafe or the seaside. But festivals just aren't going to get away from me.

Anyway, I can join again next year. Full attention shift to Christmas please, the most important festival of all.

Countdown to Christmas' Eve: 52 days
Countdown to New Year's Eve: 59 days