24 Oct 2005

Another new week start. This should be the last week of the month already. I have been waiting for this week for such a long time already. And the only reason for this is money.

Today my working morale fell to lowest. I feel like I'm so sick of everything around here. I don't want to sit here, nor do I want to sit in another office. I don't think I will feel calm too if I lie on my own bed. It's just doesn't feel right. I just want escape from everything. It's just not right. I just feel pressures all around.

I don't want to do such boring work. But deep in my heart I actually appreciate it. Well, think of this: I can go to work at 10 (deadline). The office is just in Causeway Bay, the favourite place for me in HK. And it's very close to my home too.

I can visit the Pet Street every lunch time because it's in the Causeway Bay and I have 1.5 hours of lunch time. Just looking at those cutie and lovely puppies and kitties could really cheer me up for the rest of the day. I have plenty of food to choose in Causeway Bay. I have a Central Library close to my office where I can go read some books during lunch time. I can go for a stroll in the Victoria Park. I can go to the games arcade in the World Trade Centre. I can go to the Cat Cafe to have lunch and play with the cats. I can choose to eat expensive meals or just buy breads from bakeries or supermarkets. I can window shopping during lunch time (although I seldom do).

In the office, it's kind of boring. But actually it just depends on whether I want to work or not. That's because my boss isn't checking me from time to time, but I have my duties to do. Since no one is really keep checking, I do so the same amount of work within one day or spread it over a whole week...no one knows. You can say it's so free or you can say it's so meaningless. Yes, my seat is facing the wall / entrance while the rest of us can face the windows and admire the skyline of Causeway Bay and some even the Victoria Harbour. And yes, everyone else can see what's my monitor is showing so I can't play games in the computer (Ouch! That hurts!). But, Hey! This job got nothing to do anyway. This diary means that I am at least so free to do other things instead of working. Many of the others outside are still working hard everyday just to contribute all their time in working. To them, I'm living in a slice of heaven on Earth.

So what am I feeling not contended with? I keep asking myself this question this morning. Everything seems fine here. Am I really adventurous to get some excitement from another kind of job or am I just being too picky that nothing on the world will satisfy me?

Gee, what the hell am I up to actually.

One thing I'm for sure: If I cannot figure this out ASAP would not have the determination to find another job and leave this one. And always "time and tide waits for no man".

Viola had introduced me the Jardine's MT programme. I thank her for this but I'm kinda sure I'm not as eloquent and able as those guys / girls. But if I can really be one of them that would really be a great leap forward in my life.

Perhaps if Jardine's recruiting clowns...I might have a better chance. Just not with data again, please. Suit yourself, not me.

p.s. It's past lunch time already. I came back from a walk in the pet street with those lovely puppies and some leisurely reading in a book store. The world is as beautiful as before provided that I don't fell asleep on my own desk. My only wish now it to lie naked under the burning hot sun on a beautiful tropical beach alone...eh, heck with it.